We Are Our Own Greatest Obstacle

Sometimes I want to do things or go places, but I defeat myself before I even try. I think that I do not have time, or that I’m not able or capable of doing something or going somewhere, and from that moment I give up. Do you find yourself doing the same too?

There are some things that we are just not physically able to do or some things that aren’t an option for us. But, when we have the option and are physically or mentally capable to do what we want to do, do we find ourselves making excuses to NOT do those things?

We are our own greatest obstacle. I see it in myself every day. For example, I want to attend a dharma talk in my city. I’ve been interested for several months. However, they are on weeknights usually at 7 pm in the downtown core. Although I work downtown until 5 pm, I find myself wanting to go home after work instead to my dog to take care of him. Is that an excuse or just responsibility? I like to think more that it is responsibility, and honestly as much as one can respect the dharma and its teachers, I do need to take care of those dependent on me, such as my dog.

Another example: I would like to attend a meditation session once a month. But, it is also downtown (about 20 minutes away by car, much longer by bus) but is at 11 am. Now, I could make it, if I took the bus on my own. Sounds reasonable? But, then my self consciousness creeps up and I become shy. Why? Because I’ve never been there. Is it a new experience? It would be. I meditate at home, but the desire to connect to the sangha is an experience we all need to feel once in a while.

Many times we stand in the way of our own deepest desires because we feel we aren’t deserving of them. I still need to learn to break free of my own self-doubts and test new waters. If we stop making excuses, there’s so much we can get done. What’s stopping you?

With metta,

Stress, Worry and Buddha Nature

Worrying does little to resolve problems. It only makes our mental and physical health worsen. I have a tendency to worry a lot sometimes. It becomes like a bad habit and once I start worrying and continue to worry, it becomes a vicious cycle. If there is something that can be done about a situation, then there is no need to worry, right? I meticulously try to plan things out when I worry about things; most of the time it’s about money. Money is the main cause of worry for most people. Money buys us freedom to do things that we want to do and have the things that we want to have, but not having enough or have too many financial obligations creates stress.

To the little beetle on the asian lily, life is so simple and beautiful!

Stress and worry are bad for our hearts, both in a medical and spiritual way. Most of the time there are solutions to our problems, but many times we don’t think there is, mainly because we don’t like the options that are available to us, such as sacrificing lifestyle and comforts or compromising, or simply because we don’t think the solution will yield the best results. But, there are almost always options.

I have been very stressed this past week and making myself sick in the process. Finally, I told myself that I have to break free from stressing myself out. I picked up my copy of Thich Nhat Hanh’s book “Happiness” and started reading it again. It brought me back to the simplicity of being in the moment, reminding me of the benefits of mindfulness and meditation.

thich nhat hanh (Photo credit: tussenpozen)

Finding the time to meditate seems difficult sometimes, but we all have 24 hours every day. However, I sometimes can’t seem to keep my mind still and feel I have to keep it active, or else I feel “guilty” for taking time to not do anything, especially when I’m stressed. But, that is exactly the time when we should meditate! Taking 10 minutes a day won’t take time away from pressing matters. The obligations will still be there waiting, but for 10 minutes they can wait a little longer, and after those 10 minutes, you’ll be able to face them with a better attitude.

We need to stop every day and appreciate beauty around us, or else we will miss it and lose the purpose of our lives: to be happy.

I still need to take things as they come up; rather than worry with anticipation and stress myself out before something has happened. I have had many sleepless nights, and I’m sure my worries have shortened my lifespan ever so slightly. But, I believe that can be reversed.

After a week and a half of stress and worry, I need to return to my Buddha nature. No matter what happens in our lives, in our world, it’s the one place we can always seek refuge in. It’s always inside us, where we can find calmness, peace, simplicity, compassion, kindness and tranquility.

“Even when we have physical hardships, we can be very happy.” – Dalai Lama XIV

Buddha Body and Mind – Lessons Learned for My Better Health

This week has been a tiring week, although most weeks these past few months are tiring. The rheumatologist that I met with again believes that I have fibromyalgia. I have suspected this for at least a month or two and my husband thought I was reading too much on the Internet. I won’t say “I told you so”, because he now knows I was right.

My condition isn’t as bad as some people can experience, and I’m hoping that with some lifestyle and behavioural changes I can maybe prevent it from getting worse. The rheumatologist suggested exercise (which I really do need) and even cognitive behaviour changes. This made me think of solidifying and strengthen my beliefs.

Buddha has taught many lessons on how to help ourselves, we just need to hear!

Buddhism takes away the idea of pitying ourselves and focusing our attention on other sentient beings. When you think of other sentient beings’ greater suffering, our own seems to be smaller in comparison. If we’re in pain, if we can train our mind to focus on something else, we can lessen how much pain we experience (particularly the aches and pains of fibromyalgia).  For example, in my case, if I sit too long doing nothing I can feel the pain moving from one muscle or joint to another muscle or joint. If I concentrate on work or other things, I don’t notice it as much. I definitely find I hurt more on days when I have little work to do compare to days where I’m busy all day. I do hurt more at the end of the day, and that’s when I can relax and take it easy, recovering for the next day.

I need to meditate more. Meditating on compassion for others will help me to be more kind and compassion especially on days where I’m hurting and become irritable from poor sleep and forgetfulness. It’s hard to put on a smile when you feel miserable. But, perhaps by smiling to a friend, we can change our state of mind willingly, not forcefully. The idea is that if we meditate continuously and frequently, these states of mind will become natural like a skilled art. However, when you hurt to sit in any position for longer than five minutes and not really ”do” anything can be difficult, but I need to do so on days when I think I’m able to. If it’s only for five minutes, then it will only be five minutes. In fact, I will actually do that after finishing this entry.

A perfect cushion/zafu to meditate!

Buddhism helps to change our way of thinking. Karma is not just actions, but also thoughts. If I think negatively about myself and my condition, I will feel even worse and not accomplish anything. That would be my karma. If I change my perspective, I change my outcome. We’re all inspired by people who overcome adversity and prove that they can do things. We all have challenges in our lives. Some are successful, some are not, but we all like to hear a story where someone beats the odds or at least tries. We like to help people willing to help themselves or allow us to help. It comes down to our outlook on life. We need to think positively!

My lessons from learning I have fibromyalgia which I am applying to myself:

–          Take care of myself emotionally and physically

–          Eat a well-balanced diet

–          Exercise

–          Take time to relax

–          Take time to read coping techniques for pain, sleep and stress

–          Think positively

–          Meditate more often

These techniques may not work for everyone with fibromyalgia, but it’s my plan. I think they can apply to healthy people too.

So wherever you are and whatever your health is, take care of yourself so you can take care of others. Love yourself and from that you learn to love others.

Have a great weekend everyone!

With Metta,

Happiness is a State of Mind

These past few days have made me realise how dependent we are on technology. Not only dependent, but more that they are a distraction. It distracts us from ourselves. A few days ago, I came home to find that my Internet, TV cable and home phone were disconnected. I called the cable/phone/internet provider and they said my account was in order and that the problem was on my end. No one could come fix it until Friday afternoon. I didn’t want to take time off work to sit at home waiting for someone to arrive, and my husband and I had plans to go away camping on the weekend. So, for Thursday and Friday night, we found other ways to “entertain” ourselves. I went for walks with the pug, meditated and read books. Mostly after work, my time is caught up with what’s on TV. It’s a distraction. But, when the phone, Internet and TV are disconnected, you realise how much more quiet things can be. You then realise it’s not as necessary as you thought they were. I became thankful that I still had electricity and that my cell phone was working in case of an emergency.

With the TV, Internet connection and home phone not working, it was nice to know we were going away to go camping that weekend. Camping for us is a break from routine, and for living in the present moment. You don’t have to be anywhere else, and the day-to-day problems of work and city life don’t mean anything. As long as you have shelter, water, fire and food, what else is needed? Anything else is just luxury.

To conclude about the cable “mystery”, it turns out someone in our apartment building was stealing our cable connection and it looks like there are a few apartments stealing cable too. It’s upsetting to think that someone was stealing our service that we are paying for, which brings attention to the first precept, “do not steal.” It frustrates me when I think of it, but my anger won’t do any good. It won’t change what has happened. The situation has been fixed, so is there really anything to be mad about anymore?

I had some good times while I didn’t have cable, Internet or a home phone, which allowed me to “disconnect” from the noise and unnecessary distractions. When you don’t have distractions, you can turn your attention inside. Many of us try to escape from what’s going on inside us, and seek distractions from friends, TV, Internet, etc. Sometimes the distractions are just that… distractions, and as much as we intend to get things done, we get distracted and lose track of time in doing things that are unnecessary.

Distractions take away from our goal. The meaning of our existence is to be happy, and distractions achieve that but they are only temporary. That’s why we need many, many distractions day after day to keep us happy.

We need to turn off our distractions, and return to ourselves.

 

Happiness is a state of mind, unaffected by good or bad, more or less. We should be happy when our needs are met, and content with our necessities. Anything else is just luxury, and as nice as they are, is not true happiness. If you don’t have any distractions, would you still be happy with nothing?

Ignorance Is Not An Excuse, Compassion Is The Answer

 

“I have so much to accomplish today that I must meditate for two hours instead of one.” – Mahatma Gandhi

Mohandas K. Gandhi (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

So beautifully spoken.

We rush and rush trying to accomplish so much in less than 24 hours a day. In the end, there is so much left undone and so much done or said that should have rather not been done or said. I realise I need to meditate more on the precepts and originations of suffering that cause my own woes and the ailments of others.

I say things and do things that are counteractive to what I intend to do. I say things that I think are for my best intentions, but they have ramifications that affect other people. Why do we do things that are harmful, when all we want is the best for ourselves and others?

When we realise we have made a mistake, we need to acknowledge it; to ourselves, to the other person or persons involved in our mistake and to the Buddha. When we forgive ourselves for the mistake, we make the vow to not make that mistake again. Our karma is out there from our past action, if we are remorseful, perhaps it won’t hurt us as much in the future and we will be able to accept it as our consequence to our action. What’s done is done, and all we have is now; so we can try to make things better in this present moment than dwell on what has already happened.

I have a lot of work to do to learn to expand love and compassion to all sentient beings. It’s not easy work all the time. Many of us have habits that we have had for years and decades, and changing these habits, thought patterns, does not happen overnight.

People who annoy us the most are the most valuable. The old break-up saying, “it’s not you, it’s me” is true in this aspect! Most people don’t intentionally annoy other people. They are just going about their business, doing what they are doing. The crying baby on the bus, the noisy neighbour with the loud stereo, the coworker talking on the phone all day with personal phone calls, the driver that cut you off on the road, all these people usually don’t intend to annoy you, but they do – why? Because it bothers us, we take it personally; but if it doesn’t bother anyone else, then it must be us with the problem. Doesn’t mean we must not say something if it is too much, but with understanding we can see from their point of view and say something with compassion. Maybe the baby is hungry, the noisy neighbour is sad and playing music, the coworker is having issues at home, the driver is late for an appointment, and these are all possibilities. With mindfulness we can train ourselves to catch our thoughts when they stray from the noble path, and bring our thoughts back to compassion and understanding.

Meditation is where it all can begin (Photo credit: holisticgeek)

I have a lot to meditate on to develop more compassion and understanding, to understand what makes me do what I do and why. At the root of it all is ignorance in understanding how things really are. So, I must meditate on the root of suffering, ignorance and impermanence. When you think of these things, then it puts everything else into perspective.

It’s not easy, but well worth it in the end.

Namaste.

Compassion for All Sentient Beings!

This weekend, my husband, my pug and I went camping for my husband’s 40^th birthday. It’s just us, our tent and supplies and enjoyed being outdoors. Camping is a way to bring yourself into the moment of life, where you just live in the present moment.

My pug enjoying nature and living in the moment! Very Zen!

We think of our basic necessities, like putting shelter up and starting a campfire. After that, we go for a walk or sit by the fire. We don’t need to be anywhere else or do anything else. It would be a perfect place for meditation, but most of my time is spent looking after my pug. He enjoys camping as much as we do, but I have to take care of him. In the summer, it’s very hot for pugs to be outdoors, so I make sure he has enough water and cool shade during the hottest part of the day. I may not be in sitting meditation, but it is mindfulness. Listening to the fire, listening to the birds, and aware of where my husband and pug are. The past doesn’t matter, and at the moment there is no worry of the future. There is only now.

On our way driving home, my husband saw a large turtle on the side of the road. The turtle looked like it was going to cross the road. Without a doubt, if the turtle tried to cross the road, he would have been hit by a car or truck. My husband turned the car around and parked on the side of the road. He took some pictures of this huge turtle and then helped him cross the road. He carefully picked up the turtle and surprisingly the turtle tried to bite him! It looked like a snapping turtle! My husband carefully carried the turtle to the other side of the road where there is a river, and put him down on the grass. The turtle slowly made its way towards the river. Now that’s compassion for animals! I am so proud of him for helping the turtle – we don’t think many people would have done that.

Turtle at the side of the road, waiting to cross…

Huge turtle! He was scared of us approaching.

Scared turtle! He made it safely across the street with our compassionate help.

We can choose to ignore others, or we can help. If we are able to help, we should. Compassion isn’t just about wishing good will, it is also about action. Compassion is for all sentient beings; sometimes every one of us needs a helping hand.

Metta: The Art of Loving Kindness

 Metta. Loving kindness is a cornerstone of Buddhist belief. Most of us would agree that we need more loving kindness in the world, and compassion also. It’s easy to say that, but to cultivate it to all living things is different.

For example, some would say that they could never kill an animal, but yet they eat meat. Some would say they can’t kill a living thing, but then kill the insect that they find in the home. Where does it begin and where does it end? These questions and answers are not easy, and I can’t say that I have the answers to those dilemmas.

As I study more and more, and put what I read into practise, the concepts become more attainable and accustomed. For example, when I was at the office yesterday I came across a surprise that startled me. By the fax machine hung a spider from the ceiling and gave me a fright. Now, I don’t like spiders and never have – I’m even too afraid to kill them. Everyone around me heard my fear, and my coworker came by and killed it. But, as I sat at my desk, I felt saddened. I didn’t want it to die; I just didn’t want it near me. Some may say it’s crazy to think of an insect with compassion, but who is to say my life has more merit than a spider’s?

It is true to say that we do need to take measures to protect our life and the lives of others, and to not kill unnecessarily is perhaps the better way to put it. For example, if your home is infested with termites, you will have to get an exterminator or they will destroy your shelter. For you to have safe vegetables and fruit to eat, insects had to be killed to protect the crops.

A way to help cultivate compassion is through empathy. If you can feel and understand what the other person or living thing is going through, naturally empathy will happen and you will have compassion towards them. Many times a day, I need to put myself in the place of others to understand where they are coming from. When the children on the floor above me make noise and I get irritated, I imagine what that child is going through. Most of the time they are playing and happy, or when times they are crying, I feel empathy. They may be sad or hurting, and if I can understand that, then I am not so much annoyed. But, I still need to practise. That’s why people call it “practising Buddhism” – it is a daily practise every day, not just for Sundays!

As much as we try to avoid causing suffering to others, it is inevitable. But, metta (or loving kindness) teaches to have compassion to those who suffer and to try to lessen their suffering.

Meditating on metta helps cultivate this attitude and feeling. I enjoy meditating on loving kindness. It helps me throughout the day, to not feel annoyed and irritated by other people because the feeling and mentality through meditation I can bring to my mind and work through the annoyance. But, I’m far from perfect as most of us are too.

We need to be more patient, empathetic, compassionate and kind to each other – family, friends and strangers. Whether you practise Buddhism or not loving kindness is needed more and more in this world.

14th Dalai Lama, Tenzin Gyatso – despite hardship, He smiles, an inspiration to all!

As the 14th Dalai Lama would probably agree is that we need more smiles in the world. Happiness too. And it can start with just you…

 

Sundays Are For New Beginnings

 Some of us dread Sunday night knowing that it’s back to school or work on Monday morning. We wonder where the weekend went and wish we had one more day to either get things done or just relax and do nothing after doing almost everything in just two days that we put off all week.

If only I could sleep in til 10:00 AM on Mondays.

 

But, Sunday should be a day to reaffirm yourself and set goals for the week. It’s a day of rest for most, and that’s when you should work on yourself and what you plan to do for the next five to six days.

This Sunday, besides getting my laundry ready for the week, I’m going to set “mini-goals” for myself this week. Firstly, I will meditate for at least five minutes to generate the mentality and attitude I want (or think I need) to develop to attain my goals this week. I want to work on patience and compassion which in turn, I hope, will help me to have a relaxed approach to my work and tasks this week as opposed to feeling rushed and defeat the feeling of “working for nothing” (even though I do enjoy my work, it can be tiring to just work, work, work because the job is never done). My goal this week at work is to take my designated breaks – whether I want to or not. Sounds lazy, right? Quite the contrary. I will use my breaks to read Buddhist texts and books, recite mantra or perhaps just do breathing exercises, all while at my desk. Taking that designated 15 minute break can help restore the mind. I have to remind myself to take the breaks, because if I don’t, I’ll miss the opportunity – not only to take a breather, but also miss an opportunity to practise.

Goals for the week can be simple everyday things. They shouldn’t be like New Year’s Eve resolutions (who keeps those anyway?); they can be simple as going to work every day even if you don’t feel like it. A goal to keep motivated through the week could also be looking forward to doing something the next weekend. Every day passed at work or school brings you closer to the next weekend. It’s easy to be caught up in the mundane routine and life will pass by.

So this week, I will try to meditate more often and read at work on my breaks. Sounds boring, but it’s self-improvement. Enlightenment doesn’t happen overnight, but step by step we get closer.

Everything is Impermanent – So Just Sit and Relax

 Everything is impermanent. Sometimes we don’t want to think that everything comes to an end sooner or later, and other times we can’t wait for things to come to an end. For instance, I’m still sick with a virus that is causing arthritis and inflammation. I’m on a medication for it and although today is an OK day in that area, I’ve come down with a cold (it is that time of year again) and the combination of the two viruses have knocked me down. This suffering is what I’m enduring now, but I’m hoping it too will come to an end. The medication for the viral arthritis only treats the inflammation, not the virus itself, just like cold medication only treats the symptoms while the cold runs its course.

The combination of taking the arthritis medication for the past few days has made a difference over the past few days that I was able to try to sit to meditate today. Although my goal wasn’t to force myself to meditate with a sore throat, stiff shoulders and general malaise, with my pug dragging a blanket to shreds behind me off the couch while I sit on the floor, my goal was rather to just sit. Zazen style. It’s said the same about yoga. When you don’t feel like doing yoga, but you have the time, just get out your mat, do a pose or two and that’s it. The hardest part is just getting on the mat. The same for meditation – just commit 3 or 5 minutes to your cushion and that’s it. It’s finding the time to do it, but when you do, don’t hesitate!

Because everything is impermanent, and what you don’t feel like doing today may change tomorrow. How you feel now may be different tomorrow. What’s here today may be gone tomorrow. Don’t hesitate!

Carpe diem!

Are you happy?

 

It’s been a pretty busy week at work with only four out of six of us in my department this week. Every day we have question periods, where we can get help on our tasks. Everyone in my department has tasks assigned to them, we all help each other with our knowledge and experience in each area, and each of us come across something every day that we haven’t seen before and from it we learn and grow. Everyone else had something time consuming to do and had several questions to ask and get help with. When someone came to ask me if I needed assistance with anything, I simply replied, “Compared to everyone else, my problems seem small.”

After I said that, I realised it was a pearl of wisdom. No matter how big our problems may be, they may be very small in comparison to other people’s problems. Thinking along these terms can lessen our suffering and make us realise that although we may feel we are singled out to endure this suffering, we are not alone and that everyone suffers to some degree.

When you put things into perspective that things can be worse than they are, do you realise the pleasurable aspects in your life? Do you take the moment to enjoy the finer things that bring joy despite adversity? You may not think of these things while under stress, but if you can take a break from work or studies and think of something happy or funny it can change your mood, attitude and outlook. Meditation does this too. If you train your mind to be still or shift your thinking, you can lessen your suffering – or as in layman’s terms handle suffering better to be more bearable and eventually to be free from it altogether, i.e. nirvana (nibbana).

Ask yourself often if you are happy. If not, do you not want to change that? What can you do with your options? If you need to do some searching for your happiness, meditate. You may feel your unhappy circumstances may be due to your karma, but remember that karma means “action” – something can be done about it! You are in charge of your fate and always have been.

As the song goes, this would make a pretty good Buddhist “modern” mantra:

Don’t worry, be happy.